When Sadness Outstays Its Welcome: Understanding the Many Faces of Depression
We’ve all had days where the world feels heavier—when motivation disappears, joy feels out of reach, and getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. For some, these moments are tied to specific life events—a breakup, a job loss, a period of grief. For others, the weight lingers with no clear beginning or end. It becomes a part of daily life, quietly dulling the colours of once-vibrant experiences.
But here’s the thing: not all depression is the same. And knowing which kind you’re dealing with matters. Is it a situational response to a hard season, or is it chronic—etched into the nervous system like a background hum you can’t quite turn off?
In this article, we’ll explore the difference between situational depression—the kind that shows up during life’s storms—and chronic depression, the kind that weaves itself into your identity over time. More importantly, we’ll show you how the two can overlap, feed into each other, and what can be done to break the cycle.
Whether you’re personally navigating the fog or supporting someone who is, understanding these different faces of depression is a powerful step toward healing. Let’s shine a light on the shadows—and show that no matter how long the blues have lingered, there is always a path forward.
Situational Depression: A Temporary Wave
Imagine you're caught in a sudden, crashing wave. It knocks you down, steals your breath, and for a moment, it feels like you might never resurface. But then, slowly, you do. This is situational depression—a response to a specific life event that shakes your emotional foundation.
It often follows:
The loss of a loved one
A breakup or divorce
Job loss or financial hardship
A major life transition (such as becoming a new parent, moving, or retiring)
A traumatic event
Take Leila, for instance. After her father passed away unexpectedly, she felt emotionally paralyzed. Each day felt like she was wading through molasses—her thoughts foggy, her body heavy, her joy gone. She cried without warning and withdrew from her friends. But with time, grief counseling, and consistent self-care, Leila noticed the sadness slowly softening. The wave that had crashed so hard began to settle. This is the arc of situational depression: a beginning, middle, and—most importantly—an end.
The emotional pain from these events is very real. But when it’s situational, the nervous system typically returns to balance with enough time, support, and space to process what’s happened. It’s not about “bouncing back” quickly—it’s about trusting that healing is possible when we meet our pain with presence.
Chronic Depression: A Constant Underlying Current
Now imagine a slow-moving current beneath the surface of your life. It’s not dramatic or loud, but it’s relentless—pulling at your energy, your motivation, your sense of self. This is chronic depression, also called persistent depressive disorder. It doesn’t necessarily follow a singular life event. It builds gradually, often rooted in childhood experiences, nervous system dysregulation, or long-term stress that wears down emotional resilience.
David's story illustrates this well. On the outside, everything seemed “fine”—he had a stable job, a few close friends, and a quiet routine. But inside, David felt nothing. Even moments that should’ve felt joyful, like promotions or birthdays, passed in emotional silence. He wasn’t sad about one thing in particular; life just felt muted. The emptiness was familiar—he had felt it since adolescence, but he never had the language for it. Years later, through somatic therapy and Internal Family Systems work, David began to recognize that what he was experiencing wasn’t just low mood—it was chronic depression.
Symptoms often include:
Low energy or motivation
Feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy
Sleep disturbances
A persistent sense of emptiness
Difficulty experiencing pleasure or connection
Unlike situational depression, chronic depression doesn't shift when external circumstances improve. It’s not that someone with chronic depression can’t feel joy—they often just can’t access it easily because their nervous system has been operating in a state of collapse or shut-down (dorso vagal shut down) for too long. It becomes a pattern—a body-memory of emotional survival.
The Loop That Keeps Depression Alive
Our nervous system is designed to protect us, especially in moments of overwhelm or trauma. But sometimes, in its efforts to guard us from pain, it creates a feedback loop that keeps us stuck in sadness longer than necessary. Two major loops often keep depression alive:
1. When Situational Sadness Turns Into Chronic Depression
Think of grief like an unexpected houseguest. It arrives with good reason—loss, trauma, heartbreak—and demands attention. But in some cases, instead of packing up and moving on, the grief makes itself at home.
This was true for Nina. After experiencing a miscarriage, her grief was understandably deep. But months later, she still felt emotionally frozen—avoiding loved ones, unable to plan for the future, emotionally flat. What started as situational sadness had quietly evolved into something more persistent. Her nervous system, overwhelmed by the trauma, had gone into a kind of freeze—numbing her emotions to protect her from the pain. But in doing so, it also cut her off from connection and healing.
Why this happens:
The emotional event is deeply traumatic or unresolved.
The nervous system decides it’s safer to stay emotionally shut down.
There wasn’t enough space or safety to fully grieve or process the experience.
In these cases, the body starts to treat sadness as a constant companion—as if it’s the only way to avoid future heartbreak.
2. When Chronic Depression Amplifies Situational Depression
Now, flip the script. Imagine someone already living with chronic depression—then something painful happens. Instead of being able to bounce back, the situational pain piles onto an already depleted system, making the depressive episode feel unbearable.
This is what happened to Michael. For years, he lived with chronic, low-grade depression. He managed to function—he worked, socialized, even made people laugh. But when his long-term partner ended their relationship, it shattered the small routines keeping him afloat. His brain couldn’t summon hope or perspective. Every day felt darker, heavier. The breakup didn’t just hurt—it confirmed what his depression had whispered for years: “You’re unlovable. You’ll always be alone.”
Why this happens:
Chronic depression lowers resilience.
The nervous system is already primed for withdrawal.
Hope feels inaccessible when the body is stuck in a collapse response.
When someone already struggling with chronic depression encounters new emotional pain, it often reactivates old wounds—intensifying the experience and making healing feel even further away.
Concluding Thoughts: Healing Is Not Linear—But It Is Possible
Whether you're facing situational grief or living with a long-term depressive pattern, know this: depression is not a character flaw or a life sentence. It’s a nervous system state. A coping response. A form of emotional survival that once made sense—but doesn’t have to define your future.
Healing doesn’t always look like a big, dramatic shift. Sometimes, it’s found in the small things: a quiet walk on a day you didn’t want to leave the house. Reaching out to a friend. Feeling a flicker of joy while watching the sun filter through the trees.
Therapy, especially trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, somatic therapy, or Internal Family Systems, can help us untangle the roots of depression—whether it grew from a single storm or slowly built over time. These approaches don’t just focus on thoughts, but on healing the body-mind connection that keeps depressive patterns in place.
And perhaps most importantly: you are not alone in this. Depression can distort time and self-perception, making it feel like change is impossible. But healing is a process—and every small step you take toward understanding yourself is a step toward freedom.
