How EMDR Therapy Can Heal “Sticky” Memories And Feelings!

Some memories don’t just fade with time—they stick. They cling to our nervous system like burrs on fabric, influencing how we react, how we relate to others, and even how we see ourselves. These “sticky” memories—whether from childhood wounds, relational betrayals, or overwhelming life events—often become embedded in our emotions, body, and subconscious patterns.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is best known for treating fears, phobias, unresolved grief, anxiety patterns, and deeply ingrained core beliefs tied to relational traumas. Why? Because EMDR doesn’t just work on the thinking brain (your prefrontal cortex); it works directly on the feeling and reactive brain, where unprocessed emotional pain often resides.

Neuroscience tells us that traumatic memories don’t store themselves neatly like files in a cabinet. Instead, they get “stuck” in the more primitive brain structures—the brainstem and amygdala—which act as alarm systems, keeping us hypervigilant, anxious, or emotionally shut down long after the distressing event has passed. This is why merely talking about trauma often doesn’t lead to deep healing—because trauma is not just a story in our minds; it’s an experience held in the body.

For this reason, EMDR’s power is magnified when combined with Somatic Therapies such as Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, or Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR). These approaches target the reptilian brain and limbic system, helping to shift deep-rooted survival responses rather than just engaging the logical mind. But before we dive too deep into neuroscience, let’s break down how EMDR works in simple terms!

How Does EMDR Therapy Work?

Think of the brain as having its own built-in healing system, much like the body’s immune system. Just as the body fights infections and repairs wounds, the brain is designed to process and heal emotional pain.

However, when psychological distress is too overwhelming, prolonged, or occurs at a vulnerable stage of development, the brain’s natural healing process can become blocked. This means distressing experiences don’t get fully “digested” or resolved—they remain emotionally raw and “frozen” in the nervous system. Over time, these unresolved experiences can manifest as anxiety, PTSD, depression, chronic stress, emotional numbness, and even cyclic shame.

This is where EMDR therapy helps “unstick” these frozen memories and reactions, allowing the brain to reprocess them in a way that reduces their emotional charge. Here’s what a typical EMDR session looks like:

 
 

Step 1: Nervous System Stabilization & Resourcing

Before we dive into processing painful memories, we strengthen your nervous system’s resilience. This is done through grounding techniques such as:

  • Somatic therapy and breathwork to regulate emotions.

  • EMDR resourcing (creating a sense of internal safety).

  • Mindfulness and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy to work with different “parts” of yourself.

This step expands your window of distress tolerance, ensuring that when we do access difficult memories, your system has the capacity to handle it safely.

Step 2: Activating the Target Memory or Emotion

Once you're ready, we guide you to recall or gently activate the memory, thought, or body sensation linked to your distress. This doesn’t mean reliving trauma; rather, it means allowing it to surface just enough for it to be worked through.

Step 3: Following Your Body and Mind’s Natural Processing

Instead of forcing yourself to “think through” the experience, you’re encouraged to let go, drop inward, and follow what emerges naturally—whether it’s an image, a body sensation, an emotion, or a shift in perspective. Your subconscious leads the way.

Step 4: Bilateral Stimulation – The Heart of EMDR

Here’s where the magic happens! While staying connected to your inner experience, we introduce bilateral stimulation, (e.g., eye movement, alternating ear sounds or tapping). This has several functions:

  • First, it encourages activation of more calming brainwaves;

  • Second, it helps the left and right brain communicate and integrate information;

  • Lastly, it allows the brain to reprocess negative memories in real time, neutralize strong emotions attached to these and metabolize stuck pain over the course of several sessions!

With repeated EMDR sessions, distressing memories lose their emotional charge, automatic triggers begin to dissolve, and a new sense of inner peace emerges.

Is EMDR Right for You?

If you’ve ever felt stuck in patterns of anxiety, fear, shame, or self-doubt that don’t seem to shift no matter how much you understand them, EMDR therapy might be the missing piece.

Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past—it means transforming your relationship with it. It means reclaiming your body, mind, and emotions so they no longer operate on trauma’s terms.

Curious and want to know more? Reach out to us today—your next chapter of healing starts here.